I think that now more than ever I am encouraged to be a Christian who speaks out against the American church, advocating racial reconciliation. My heart is continually burdened because of the sore spots I get when the CHAT kids are around white kids at church. I feel as though progress is slow process. However, I want to be more like Jesus when he served people. My attitude toward white people specifically in Richmond has been ever-changing. I want to love everyone the way the Bible says, but when I don’t feel acknowledged or even receive eye contact from white people, it is a painful experience which can diminish my desire to reach out to anyone.

I have had the privilege to tutor AJ Malone for basically the last four weeks. I can say that God really has a way of switching roles when he wants to teach us a lesson. Even though I am only 20, I sometimes realize I am still somewhat of a father figure or more appropriately a big brother to the kids in this community. AJ is a special kid. He plays off this front like he’s tough and wants to be grown around his friends, but I’ve gotten to know the real AJ. When we first started reading together, I realized how behind he was and he showed no desire to read for long periods of time. I even wondered why Murray continued to assign him to me. But I thank God he did because I have established a relationship with AJ, and I can tell you that his reading has greatly improved.

Over the past week or so, I have gained a lot of insight on how inspiring and how difficult it can be to do inner city ministry. I have experienced both sides of the spectrum; feeling so motivated to make a change and believing that it would come in no time and then the next day feeling as if we were going backwards in our relationships with each other. I got my first real taste of how draining it can be to continually encourage the young interns and realizing that I still don’t have as much respect as I thought I did. I definitely realized how much power Murray has and how much God has strengthened him to endure the many challenges this summer internship brings. But I am really happy to know how much God wants to use me and is using me to help guide these adolescents.

As an African American, I thought I had seen it all. I thought that I had understood my culture, that I knew all about my ethnicity and my people that I needed to know. No. More like how could I have been so dumb to think that. These past three weeks have been mind blowing and I don’t know where to start. I honestly feel like I am part of some movie that is in progress of being made. I have built relationships with so many of the youth, many of whom I have previously known, and also with the other 8 interns. The bond that has been built in this small amount of time is really something special. I can only describe it with one word… love.