"Your eyes, O Lord, see in one glance the inexhaustible love of God and seemingly endless agony of all people who have lost faith and are like sheep without a shepherd... Lord, let me see what you see- the love of God and the suffering of people- so that my eyes may become more and more like yours, eyes that can heal wounded hearts." Ken Gire
That quote is from my devotionals this week, and something that's given me a lot of thought. I mean, God seeing and knowing the indescribable glory of perfect love and peace and of how things should be on earth, and at the same time, the darkest, dirtiest room in Mosby Courts, a housing project a few miles away from me- it boggles my mind. I want to have His eyes, to be able to see, as Gire says, "the love of God and the suffering of the people." And while I guess no human can ever comprehend the true depths of our falleness and God's correspondingly great love, I want to live my life with the knowledge of the sorrow, tragedy, and evil of this world, and yet certain of, and secure in, God's amazing love and goodness.
We have our second VBS of the summer this week. The first VBS took place at Third Pres in the West End, while this one is on the North Side with 80% percent of the kids coming Gilpin Court, the largest housing project in Richmond, 10% from CHAT, and the rest made up of helper's children. Each VBS has its own unique challenges, and to be fair, its joys. My mind is all over the place, but I thought I'd share some snippets of the past week- the joys, struggles, and commonplace events.
1) I walked upstairs this morning to the delightful smell of bleach (somebody must be cleaning!) that is ALWAYS appreciated at the Lighthouse. It turns out that Amy, a member of the Rockborough mission trip from PA that is here this week to serve CHAT and Church Hill by finishing up the basement and other projects around the house that never seem to get done, did not stop at helping revamp all the public spaces of the house, but came upstairs to our personal quarters and scrubbed down our bathroom. The grime is off the tub, the mirrors are sparkling clean, the trash taken out. That she would do that for us, complete strangers, is such a beautiful picture of Christ's love. The whole team's work ethic and cheerfulness is amazing.
2) Monday I went to the Wilson's house to pick up five of the kids who live there for VBS. Wyliek, a ten year old, had missed Third's VBS because of summer school. He had been devastated, literally crying, because he couldn't go. Well, STEP's VBS is in the afternoon, so he could come this time. When I rolled up to their house, Wyliek came running out to the car, shouting and hollering with pure joy. Even with the windows up, I could hear him shouting, in the way that only Wyliek can, "VBS!!!!! YEAHHHH!!! TIME FOR VBS!!!!!!!! YAHOOOOO"
3) By the end of VBS on Monday, I needed some of Wyliek's enthusiasm. I was beat and on the verge of tears. I had 9 children from Gilpin Court between the ages of six and seven in my class, several who were very hyper, one who was absolutely out of control, and only two teens to help. It was bad, very bad. Tuesday was better (X'Zacheem, the holy terror, didn't come), but today the CHAT kids decided it was their turn to act up. It's been a long week, and I haven't even done all of it. This morning we had an pre-VBS activity for the lil'tykes, which I didn't attend. I slept very soundly from 10 o'clock in the morning, straight through lunch, to 2:15 when Kara woke me up to tell me that the bus was here to do pick up for VBS. I felt bad and kind of guilty for not helping out, but I was exhausted and not feeling great. It was hard for me obey Murray when he told me to not go-I feel bad resting while the other interns are hard at work- but I think there is also a part of me that a) doesn't want to appear weak, and b) thinks that I'm so indispensable that things can't run without me, which is of course, absurd! Pride is so sneaky... Thanks A Team, plus Kara :), for letting me sleep today.
4) This past Saturday Aaron, Brandon, Chris, Myrtle, and I (Alecia wasn't feeling well) went to wash Mary Kay and Danny Avula's car (we've been helping Brandon, Chris, and Myrtle start their own car washing business). They had a big Expedition that was pretty dirty (sorry, Mary Kay and Danny!). I was really proud of how the kids worked, though. I have definitely seen improvement since we did our first car. There's still room for improvement, to be sure, but they did a great job, with minimal prodding from Aaron and me. When we were finished, Mary Kay and Danny invited us to help them finish off half a watermelon they couldn't fit in their fridge. It was wonderful to sit out on the front porch, on a summer day, all hot and sticky from working hard but with a lovely clean car to show for it, and stuff ourselves with sweet, juicy watermelon. Danny offered some to one of their neighbors walking by (he refused the first time, but accepted on the way back). It was a beautiful picture of community and the value and reward of hard work, a great experience for the kids and for myself.
5) I've been reading The Horse and His Boy, one of the Narnia books, with Myrtle. I'm so happy that she seems to be enjoying it. It's my favorite book of the series, and she seems to really like it. The first day I had planned to read an hour, but she kept going for another ten minutes because she "wanted to see what would happen next." Although, it's interesting to see how reading this old favorite with Myrtle causes me to see new things. Lewis puts a lot of emphasis on on the noble, fair-skinned Narnians, as opposed to the barbaric, cruel, dark-skinned Calormenes. Why is that so often the way things are portrayedl? That just doesn't sit right with me.
6) There's an elderly white woman who is helping lead a class this week at VBS. She's very sweet, but part of me, when I interacted with her, thought, "This is nice that this woman comes to help. But what can she know of these kids background? How can she really identify with them?" The implication being that I, with my mere seven weeks of living in Church Hill, had so much more experience, more dedication, yadidyadya. You can see where my mind is going with this. Well, while talking with her in the teacher's break room today, I found out that not only was she doing this VBS while on vacation while visiting her daughter-in-law (something, I, was was dragged into VBS kicking and screaming, could learn from), but she's worked with children coming out of crisis situations who have been severely abused for over twenty years. Not only that, but her husband died when they were in their forties, leaving her with 5 children between 11 and 18. She continued to take in foster children even then. I can't imagine how much I could learn from her! Hmmm-I felt like a pretentious, self-righteous twenty year old, and very rightly so.
7) Although we missed Tiff badly, worship at East End went well last Sunday. I played the piano, and was even miked for vocals (first time!). Surrounded by Alecia and Kara, I was very out of my league, but they were gracious and encouraging. It's been fun to move out of my musical comfort zone this summer.
8) I raised all my support, praise the Lord! Thank you to all of you who have helped me out; people have been so generous to me. Now I just need to write thank you notes....
Well, this is one very long blog post, but it's just a small portion of all that is happening with my life in Church Hill. And there's still three weeks left! Sometimes I wonder when I'm ever going to have time to process it all. Then again, maybe God is calling me beyond that, that maybe it's okay to not analyze everything.
